The surrogacy process- Telling your family about becoming a surrogate

As the thought of becoming a surrogate starts to become a reality the question may arise, when and what are you going to tell people? Pregnancy is not something you can easily hide and with surrogacy there will often be a lot of questions and misinformation about what people may think surrogacy is.

What are the important things to tell people and who do you tell?

When explaining your choice to be a surrogate it is always important to hit three key things:

Keep your support system in the loop: let the people you care about most know about your choice to become a surrogate. This could include your spouse, children, siblings, parents, and close friends. Let them know as early into the process as you can to allow them to cope and understand the huge change you are making in your life. Not everyone will completely understand, but it is your support that you need. Telling your children can be scary, but being honest with them is usually enough for them to comprehend, this is not your baby or your family's baby but it will go to a family who can't have their own baby.

You're doing it to help someone else: being a surrogate is not weird and is not the same as selling away a child. While not everyone is supportive of surrogacy they should be supportive of you wanting to do something good for someone else. Surrogacy is a completely selfless act and not everyone can do it. Wanting to be a surrogate means that you understand the need for it on another level than most people and that's okay.

Be firm in your choice: when explaining your surrogacy to people always believe that you are making the right choice for you. Use facts and back up your feelings calmly when dealing with difficult people and do not allow others to make you upset about what you are doing. As long as you have support from your family and agency you will make it through the pregnancy so much easier. Do not feel pressured to justify your choices to strangers or mere acquaintances and try to keep the conversation positive.

According to Lisa Stark-Hughes of GS Moms, "Hopeful parents have many options when it comes to starting a family, and parents should consider all of the benefits and challenges of egg donation and surrogacy before committing to the process."

Gestational Surrogate Moms, Inc. (GSMoms) is a full-service surrogacy and egg donor agency that focuses on keeping the most significant decision in life - that of starting a family - a personal experience. Whether you are an intended parent, surrogate, egg donor, clinical partner and/or sister agency, you will always feel our level of commitment. Our GSMoms family will work you through this process, and treat you with the care you deserve during such a critical time in your lives. 

We are a global company with our main offices located in Sacramento, California, and Champaign, Illinois. We also have a satellite office in Pasadena, California; and work with partners and other agencies located throughout the world, including Tel Aviv, Israel, and Shenzhen, China.